BNC Text KE5

4 conversations recorded by `Wayne' (PS0X2) between 20 and 22 February 1992 with 6 interlocutors, totalling 575 s-units, 4800 words (duration not recorded).

8 speakers recorded by respondent number 108

PS0X2 Ag1 m (Wayne, age 20, unemployed, Central South-west England, )
PS0X3 Ag4 m (Michael, age 47, factory operative, Central South-west England, ) father
PS0X4 Ag4 f (Brenda, age 49, factory operative, Central South-west England, ) mother
PS0X5 Ag1 m (Martin, age 22, forklift truck driver, Central South-west England, ) brother
PS0X6 Ag1 m (Gary, age 24, factory worker, Central South-west England, ) brother's friend
PS0X7 Ag1 f (Sam, age 17, student, Central South-west England, ) girlfriend
KE5PSUNK (respondent W0000) X u (Unknown speaker, age unknown) other
KE5PSUGP (respondent W000M) X u (Group of unknown speakers, age unknown) other

4 recordings

  1. Tape 035201 recorded on 1992-02-20. LocationHampshire: Andover ( local shop ) Activity: visiting friends
  2. Tape 035202 recorded on 1992-02-20. LocationHampshire: Andover ( local shop ) Activity: visiting friends
  3. Tape 035203 recorded on 1992-02-23. LocationHampshire: Andover ( home ) Activity: Unspecified
  4. Tape 035204 recorded on 1992-02-22. LocationHampshire: Andover ( in van ) Activity: picking up brother from work

1 (Tape 035201)

Wayne (PS0X2) [1] [singing] I killed my cat with a fucking spade [] We are at the scene of the crime Mr what did you see?
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [2] That was Ashley not me, no
Wayne (PS0X2) [3] You absolute bastard Mr what did you see of the crime?
[4] What, what, explain to me what you saw please.
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [5] I was walking my dog right [laugh] through the common and this great big black fat hairy man came along and sharpened his great big long tool into, into this cattle, the bad thing about it was the fucking cow exploded [laugh]
Wayne (PS0X2) [6] The cow exploded did you say?
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [7] Yes the cow exploded.
Wayne (PS0X2) [8] Thank you very much Mr for your comment this is Wain reporting for news at six.

2 (Tape 035202)

Wayne (PS0X2) [9] We are watching the brides of Christ probably never ever to be seen again in the year two thousand and fifty six.
[10] Janice is writing away on her pad.
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [11] Shaun's sitting cross legged
Wayne (PS0X2) [12] [laugh] And Darren looks like an oversized leprechaun, all dressed in green and ready to go, meanwhile I'm reporting this excellent news to you guys [laugh] if you are listening out there from the national library association, er, er, er, er
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [laugh]
Wayne (PS0X2) [13] we, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [laugh]
Wayne (PS0X2) [14] hello, hello
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [15] What does
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [16] that word mean in the year twenty five, twenty thousand?
[17] Oh I've got to phone my ma
Wayne (PS0X2) [18] Blik blik slogger logger a
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [19] Masturbate explain masturbate
Wayne (PS0X2) [20] by the way
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [21] Well if you take a
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [22] and cross it with a fuel injection between her and nitro oxide
Wayne (PS0X2) [23] And take with crystals from the
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [24] you'll put it with a box of speed with about seven hundred leggings, twelve per hour.
Wayne (PS0X2) [25] I'd like you to ring us back up in the past and ask us, tell us if there's a war and how often you have sex in them days.
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [26] We do it seven days a, seven, seven times a day, seven times a week, in the year nineteen ninety two
Wayne (PS0X2) [27] Excluding bank holiday Mondays
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [28] fifty two weeks a year
Wayne (PS0X2) [29] excluding bank holiday Mondays
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [30] and Christmas Day
Wayne (PS0X2) [31] excluding bank holiday Mondays and Christmas Day
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [32] all too pissed
Wayne (PS0X2) [33] Thank you very much for listening and
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [34] this is er, er
Wayne (PS0X2) [35] I should work for the B B C shouldn't I as a news reporter
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [36] this is Nigel
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [37] [belch] That's a burp you may not experience that word from where you come from
Wayne (PS0X2) [38] Yes by the year two thousand and fifty six comes, burps may be anonymous

3 (Tape 035203)

Brenda (PS0X4) [39] Smells alright but there you go ...
Wayne (PS0X2) [40] Here mum how am I supposed to get that hi fi up to Reggie's house when I can't remember the way through that fucking maze of flats with you
Michael (PS0X3) [41] Well I'll come with you, that's no trouble
Brenda (PS0X4) [42] wants that one, but I'm gonna get him a little one to go on there
Wayne (PS0X2) [43] Next time I see him, I'll probably see him tomorrow no I, you usually see him round town, so I say I'll arrange a time
Michael (PS0X3) [44] Yeah ...
Brenda (PS0X4) [45] that's if he still wants it, I suppose he does ...
Wayne (PS0X2) [46] Oh he hit the flag old
Michael (PS0X3) [47] time, bastard ... [sigh] ...
Wayne (PS0X2) [48] Did any one see the
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [49] from that van yesterday?
Michael (PS0X3) [50] No
Brenda (PS0X4) [51] All Joanne said was did you catch up with Wayne weren't it?
Michael (PS0X3) [52] Yeah
Wayne (PS0X2) [laugh]
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Brenda (PS0X4) [53] oh, it does add a bit more cleanliness to it Wayne, mind you the rice is
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Brenda (PS0X4) [54] so
Wayne (PS0X2) [55] are you, well you eat it the way you want to do it and I'll eat it all up
Michael (PS0X3) [56] Oh ya, ya, ya, ya
Brenda (PS0X4) [57] nice and rich ha
Michael (PS0X3) [58] oh ya, ya, ya, ya
Brenda (PS0X4) [59] now I've got the mini ones I can play some new chords you see
Michael (PS0X3) [60] oh ya, ya, ya, ya, oh ya, ya, ya
Wayne (PS0X2) [61] it's called a midi
Michael (PS0X3) [62] ya, ya, oh ya, ya, ya
Brenda (PS0X4) [63] I know what it's called but I would like it
Michael (PS0X3) [64] da, ya, da, ya
Wayne (PS0X2) [65] Best get a stand for it
Brenda (PS0X4) [66] Oh have you?
Michael (PS0X3) [67] I'll fix that, how you gonna put my fence up for me?
Wayne (PS0X2) [68] Mm, mm, mm where's it got to be?
Michael (PS0X3) [69] Well
Wayne (PS0X2) [70] Is this on an employed basis innit?
Michael (PS0X3) [71] In what way employed basis?
[72] Because I can't
Wayne (PS0X2) [73] Am I being employed to put this fence up for you?
Michael (PS0X3) [74] I haven't got any money if that's what you're after?
Brenda (PS0X4) [75] I hope
Wayne (PS0X2) [76] That's what employment means don't it? [laugh]
Michael (PS0X3) [77] Well I've got no money Wayne, don't forget I'm still on sick pay until next week then I get me full week's money
Wayne (PS0X2) [78] That's true, that's
Michael (PS0X3) [79] and I've helped you as much as I possibly can in the past, a few weeks, to the best of my ability
Brenda (PS0X4) [80] If you don't get a job, I will get a job for the time being and you want me to take some money off your bill, you can get rid of some of that rubbish out in that fucking shed, in the back of that van
Michael (PS0X3) [81] Yeah
Wayne (PS0X2) [82] Don't wanna
Michael (PS0X3) [83] No mum's giving you a fair, what she say? ...
Brenda (PS0X4) [84] Claire
Michael (PS0X3) [85] Oh
Brenda (PS0X4) [86] I want them sheds cleared out cos I want to get that garden sorted out for the summer
Wayne (PS0X2) [87] There's piss all jobs in there
Michael (PS0X3) [88] I know, er, well where the path is, the only problem is where the edge finishes at the other end, at the bottom end, right, there's gonna be a gap there and I wanna close that gap off somehow.
Brenda (PS0X4) [89] Where?
Michael (PS0X3) [90] At the bot , where the edge is right?
Wayne (PS0X2) [91] Yeah
Michael (PS0X3) [92] It'd been there
Wayne (PS0X2) [93] right near the gate
Michael (PS0X3) [94] look
Wayne (PS0X2) [95] where the gate supposed to be
Michael (PS0X3) [96] Hang on let me show, let me find a bit of bloody paper here, silly bloody arse ...
Wayne (PS0X2) [97] You'd have to dig a couple of holes and you'd have to concrete the bugger in
Michael (PS0X3) [98] No
Wayne (PS0X2) [99] it won't just sit there
Michael (PS0X3) [100] Right, that's the path right, this is where the edge finishes, yeah, this is the front edge, yes?
Wayne (PS0X2) [101] Yeah
Michael (PS0X3) [102] This is the path coming up to the house and you've got the green like that ... between there and there, there's a gap, I don't know how I'm gonna do that
Wayne (PS0X2) [103] No I don't know what the fuck you're on about here, it's upside down, where's the house?
Michael (PS0X3) [104] There's the house, right
Wayne (PS0X2) [105] Yeah
Michael (PS0X3) [106] there's the window
Wayne (PS0X2) [107] Yeah
Michael (PS0X3) [108] that's the path
Wayne (PS0X2) [109] Yeah
Michael (PS0X3) [110] and that's the path green to the alleyway
Wayne (PS0X2) [111] Yeah
Michael (PS0X3) [112] and this is the path coming onto the big main path
Wayne (PS0X2) [113] Oh right, yeah I get you
Michael (PS0X3) [114] right, this is the edge
Wayne (PS0X2) [115] Yeah
Michael (PS0X3) [116] and it stops about there, between there and that path is a gap
Wayne (PS0X2) [117] That's alright just do it straight down
Michael (PS0X3) [118] right, yeah, but that means there's gonna be ground on this side, what I want to do is come as close as I can to this path, don't worry about this
Wayne (PS0X2) [119] You've got a gate there
Michael (PS0X3) [120] Well I, I might just block it off get another piece of wood and put it in there and just nail that fucking lot up and block off completely, otherwise Nick's, if Nicholas is playing in the garden he'll be out of there like a shot, so you're gonna get one post there, say one in the middle and one at the end.
Wayne (PS0X2) [121] Stop the fucking cats coming and shitting in the garden
Brenda (PS0X4) [122] Mm
Michael (PS0X3) [123] And you've got the gate out there, repair that, put it up somehow, well it's only a temporary job
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [124] get some gates probably down the dump or something.
Brenda (PS0X4) [125] Well if you get through some of that rubbish, that's beginning to smell
Michael (PS0X3) [126] You talk to him about that
Brenda (PS0X4) [127] It's beginning to smell
Michael (PS0X3) [128] if you can make arrangements maybe we can sort something out between us
Brenda (PS0X4) [129] There's loads of shit out there got to
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Brenda (PS0X4) [130] nearly all of it's gotta go really, there's two gas fires out there
Michael (PS0X3) [131] If we can flog them
Brenda (PS0X4) [132] we might be able to bloody flog them to somebody Wayne
Wayne (PS0X2) [133] Ah
Brenda (PS0X4) [134] get a couple of
Wayne (PS0X2) [135] I'd flog my necklace first I'm so fucking skint
Michael (PS0X3) [136] You flogged it?
Wayne (PS0X2) [137] No
Michael (PS0X3) [138] Oh, Alfie might buy a fire off you dear
Brenda (PS0X4) [139] I doubt it ... I wouldn't er bother asking him
Michael (PS0X3) [140] Yeah, well you don't need to put concrete in it because if you can little bit with a sledgehammer
Wayne (PS0X2) [141] If you have to put concrete in concrete, you have to cement it in
Michael (PS0X3) [142] Well it's only a bloody temporary job innit?
[143] ... You want a sledgehammer don't you?
Brenda (PS0X4) [144] Oh yeah while I think of it
Wayne (PS0X2) [145] No
Brenda (PS0X4) [146] while I think of it, you owe Maggie thirty one pound ninety five P, I've paid thirty pound for you up to now
Michael (PS0X3) [147] Thirty one, you might as well say thirty two quid
Wayne (PS0X2) [148] Talk of Maggie, when you see her tomorrow say Wayne said he's not gonna give you any more money until he gets his videos back, cos she's got two of my videos, my Razor video and my IN X S.
Brenda (PS0X4) [149] Well I'll just ask her for your videos first
Wayne (PS0X2) [150] Just say Wayne said can he have his videos and if she don't cough them up in the week, say you don't get any more money until he gets his videos back.
Brenda (PS0X4) [151] Well I asked her how much you owed and she said thirty one ninety five
Michael (PS0X3) [152] Say thirty two quid dear
Brenda (PS0X4) [153] No that's right
Michael (PS0X3) [154] Yeah well it's only a couple of bloody pennies short of money
Brenda (PS0X4) [155] Wayne wanted to know what you
Wayne (PS0X2) [156] Thirty quid whoop fucking new man
Brenda (PS0X4) [157] Well it was sixty ...
Michael (PS0X3) [158] See really all you need to do is pull it, you've got two posts, how high do you want to go with the posts, about that high?
[159] Which is about what four foot?
[160] ... That's all you've got to go, so them poles have got to be cut down to five foot, two five foots, four, four five foots
Wayne (PS0X2) [161] First thing to do is level the fucking ground off
Michael (PS0X3) [162] Well the spade, Martin has got the spade
Brenda (PS0X4) [163] Yeah and they
Wayne (PS0X2) [164] That spade's crap, it fucking bows
Brenda (PS0X4) [165] Oh what else was I gonna say?
[166] Oh do you want to stay in the social club? ...
Wayne (PS0X2) [167] Well I did say that, yeah
Brenda (PS0X4) [168] Well, what, what, what
Michael (PS0X3) [169] Well what for?
Brenda (PS0X4) [170] Snap
Wayne (PS0X2) [171] Well if there are any trips I can get them cheaper can't I?
Michael (PS0X3) [172] You get them cheaper anyway without being in the Social
Wayne (PS0X2) [173] No you won't
Michael (PS0X3) [174] Yes you will, oh yes you will, I fucking see to that, seeing as they couldn't even send me a fucking get well card ...
Wayne (PS0X2) [175] It's only fifteen P a week, it's not exactly expensive
Brenda (PS0X4) [176] No, but it all adds up ... I was sitting there the other day adding up your things
Michael (PS0X3) [177] Right now you can discuss with Wayne about the sheds
Wayne (PS0X2) [178] I don't want to worry about sheds for now.
Brenda (PS0X4) [179] As I say I was sitting there adding it up, a pound for this and a pound for that and your meal, a fiver for Maggie, I'm twenty pound short off you
Michael (PS0X3) [180] Yeah was cutting house keep short
Wayne (PS0X2) [181] Yeah alright, alright
Michael (PS0X3) [182] We're not having a go at you Wayne, we're just talking dear
Brenda (PS0X4) [183] See I was just adding it up
Michael (PS0X3) [184] you know, it's a hell of a bloody whack out when you, you know, when you're short
Brenda (PS0X4) [185] Especially rent week
Wayne (PS0X2) [186] Oh I'm bored ... I suppose that
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Michael (PS0X3) [187] will it take us to granddad's?
Wayne (PS0X2) [188] No
Michael (PS0X3) [189] Let me ask him, he's driving the damn thing
Wayne (PS0X2) [190] Well it'll take fucking ages and it'll be very uncomfortable for you, whoever's sitting in the back.
Michael (PS0X3) [191] It'll be me, because I can stretch me legs out
Wayne (PS0X2) [192] It'll be very uncomfortable sat in the back
Michael (PS0X3) [193] What's in the back there at the moment?
Wayne (PS0X2) [194] A couple of cushions, it's very low to the floor as well
Michael (PS0X3) [195] Is it?
Wayne (PS0X2) [196] and there's a lot of holes in that floor, if you fell through it [raspberry]
Michael (PS0X3) [197] Yeah ... can you get three in the front?
Wayne (PS0X2) [198] Mm, mm no way hos
Michael (PS0X3) [199] No way, oh
Brenda (PS0X4) [sneeze]
Michael (PS0X3) [200] Bless you
Wayne (PS0X2) [201] Squashed me and Martin in the front, I keep hitting his leg when I fucking change gear
Michael (PS0X3) [202] Yeah
Brenda (PS0X4) [sneeze]
Michael (PS0X3) [203] Bless you, now you see, now straight away I've asked him a simple question, he's given me a simple, straightforward answer
Brenda (PS0X4) [sneeze]
Michael (PS0X3) [204] And we've said bless you three times
Wayne (PS0X2) [205] Best to wait until get a car
Michael (PS0X3) [206] and now, now it's eliminated you see
Wayne (PS0X2) [207] That's a point when we gonna get this fucking car off of John?
Brenda (PS0X4) [laugh]
Michael (PS0X3) [208] When I get a hundred and eighty quid [laugh]
Wayne (PS0X2) [belch]
Michael (PS0X3) [209] I said I've just gone back
Brenda (PS0X4) [sneeze]
Michael (PS0X3) [210] Will you shut up
Wayne (PS0X2) [211] Shut up
Michael (PS0X3) [212] Bless you, stupid mummy
Brenda (PS0X4) [sneeze]
Michael (PS0X3) [213] Shut up
Wayne (PS0X2) [214] I suppose that
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [215] the fucking
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Brenda (PS0X4) [216] no let him renew
Michael (PS0X3) [217] Let him renew Wayne cos our phone bill
Brenda (PS0X4) [218] our phone bill I can't afford it any more ...
Michael (PS0X3) [219] you be ten P a time
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Brenda (PS0X4) [220] I'm gonna move it back over here
Michael (PS0X3) [221] Yeah
Wayne (PS0X2) [mimics ringing]
Brenda (PS0X4) [sneeze]
Michael (PS0X3) [222] Bless you
Wayne (PS0X2) [223] Is Shaun there please, it's Wayne, how dare you, hello, hello, I'm sorry to trouble you there's an ostrich on your phone line
Michael (PS0X3) [224] You'll be on our bloody phone line if you don't move your ass
Brenda (PS0X4) [sneeze]
Michael (PS0X3) [225] Bless you
Wayne (PS0X2) [226] Ah?
[227] Oh wow, amazing [laugh] ... you going out with or, yeah, no I've got
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [228] yeah ... so, before seven, well, yeah alright, you alright?
Brenda (PS0X4) [229] He's right next door to Reggie's flats when you go down and pick him up
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Brenda (PS0X4) [230] you can do that for me
Wayne (PS0X2) [231] Ask if she was
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Michael (PS0X3) [232] what was you gonna say dear?
Brenda (PS0X4) [233] What was you gonna say dear?
Wayne (PS0X2) [234] What, what was you gonna say?
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Brenda (PS0X4) [laugh]
Wayne (PS0X2) [235] ah?
Michael (PS0X3) [236] Chris
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [237] yeah alright
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Michael (PS0X3) [238] bolting, puppy, dog
Wayne (PS0X2) [239] Yeah I know that
Brenda (PS0X4) [240] He had to go to Wales, son went to Wales to pick it up yesterday
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Brenda (PS0X4) [241] something to do with Joanne's family or something she was on about
Michael (PS0X3) [242] Oh I don't know about that
Brenda (PS0X4) [243] something on about ... it's got a, it's one of them little square Welsh terriers
Wayne (PS0X2) [244] Hooray
Brenda (PS0X4) [245] Welsh terrier
Wayne (PS0X2) [humming]
Brenda (PS0X4) [246] he brought it in this morning ...
Michael (PS0X3) [247] Is that thing recording?
Brenda (PS0X4) [248] Yeah, I ain't said nothing to Wayne
Michael (PS0X3) [249] He'd soon fucking hear you
Brenda (PS0X4) [laugh]
Wayne (PS0X2) [250] How much you said you swear
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Brenda (PS0X4) [251] I'm sneezing more than anything
Michael (PS0X3) [252] What's it all about then really?
[253] Speaking, just, normal conversation?
Wayne (PS0X2) [254] Yeah just, to tape the conversation
Brenda (PS0X4) [255] Yeah but if you're having
Michael (PS0X3) [256] It might be something private Wayne
Brenda (PS0X4) [257] Yeah
Wayne (PS0X2) [258] It doesn't matter
Michael (PS0X3) [259] Yeah it does matter to us
Brenda (PS0X4) [260] It does matter to us
Michael (PS0X3) [261] it does to me
Wayne (PS0X2) [262] Well I'd known if you said anything private, and I wipe it off
Michael (PS0X3) [263] No something you er, something you've got to be very careful of, because that can also be discriminating in, in a court
Wayne (PS0X2) [264] No she said to me
Michael (PS0X3) [265] Ah, you mean, might say something privately here, not knowing that switched on and it might be about somebody else and that person might know that person er with the evidence
Wayne (PS0X2) [266] I don't
Michael (PS0X3) [267] you never no, oh use at work by all means yeah
Wayne (PS0X2) [268] But she said to ask people
Brenda (PS0X4) [269] I'd love to do her work ...
Wayne (PS0X2) [270] tell them that you're recording out of common courtesy as was, but I didn't think you two would mind because it's, well I don't know interesting, interesting talking to you
Brenda (PS0X4) [271] Might of done mightn't we?
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Michael (PS0X3) [272] things like that I don't know
Wayne (PS0X2) [273] Really exciting that is innit? ...
Michael (PS0X3) [274] What time you going out?
[275] When your
Wayne (PS0X2) [276] way to the fox
Michael (PS0X3) [277] twenty to six?
Wayne (PS0X2) [278] Twenty to seven
Brenda (PS0X4) [279] As I said you could take that down Reggie's then
Wayne (PS0X2) [280] I haven't got petrol mum
Brenda (PS0X4) [281] Well you're going down there
Wayne (PS0X2) [282] I've got to drive down there and back up here, then I've got to go to Darren's then I've
Brenda (PS0X4) [283] Well how long you gonna be?
Wayne (PS0X2) [284] got to drive back home again
Brenda (PS0X4) [285] When you gonna do that then?
Wayne (PS0X2) [286] Well I can drive to Shaun's then go Darren's, then leave the van there and then pick, drive us back home again, but I won't have enough to go backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards all the bloody time, it's nearly on zippo
Brenda (PS0X4) [287] I say Reggie's on the way
Wayne (PS0X2) [288] Yeah that means coming back over here don't it, I'm not driving around like with my fucking hi fi in the back ...
Brenda (PS0X4) [289] Oh I
Michael (PS0X3) [290] What, like you're going out to a pool
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Michael (PS0X3) [291] in it?
Brenda (PS0X4) [292] Yeah, our
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Brenda (PS0X4) [293] got to come anyway, er I don't know if I've got enough money to bloody pay him, it's a bad week
Michael (PS0X3) [294] Yeah
Brenda (PS0X4) [295] your bad week
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [296] these days
Brenda (PS0X4) [297] Oh
Michael (PS0X3) [humming]
Brenda (PS0X4) [298] if I pay him I won't be able to pay the Provident bloke tomorrow night [laugh]
Wayne (PS0X2) [299] It's
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [300] money mum
Brenda (PS0X4) [301] I don't care
Michael (PS0X3) [302] See what I mean
Brenda (PS0X4) [303] What?
Michael (PS0X3) [304] When you say things like that
Brenda (PS0X4) [305] Well there you go
Michael (PS0X3) [306] that's personal in this family
Wayne (PS0X2) [307] They say it's anonymous, they just log it on computer and it's just, to show people in the future what we spoke like in the nineties
Michael (PS0X3) [308] Yeah
Wayne (PS0X2) [309] We speak like motherfuckers
Brenda (PS0X4) [laugh]
Michael (PS0X3) [310] I know
Brenda (PS0X4) [311] [laughing] Didn't say that into Tom []
Michael (PS0X3) [312] I know what we do mother
Brenda (PS0X4) [313] [...] er him, don't shout in my bloody ear hole, cor does he shout
Michael (PS0X3) [314] will do the apple and pears at number ten ...
Brenda (PS0X4) [315] erm, how am I gonna pay the Provi bloke tomorrow darling?
Michael (PS0X3) [316] do the jock strap
Brenda (PS0X4) [317] I can't
Wayne (PS0X2) [318] Lend us ten grand mum
Brenda (PS0X4) [319] I didn't even pay Chris today cos I didn't have enough money
Michael (PS0X3) [320] Don't look at me I can't give you no more bloody loot
Wayne (PS0X2) [321] Lend us forty million
Brenda (PS0X4) [322] Ha, ha, he wants fifty four pound fifty today
Michael (PS0X3) [323] I can't even have a bet on, on Saturday
Wayne (PS0X2) [324] Oh what a sheer catastrophe that is
Michael (PS0X3) [325] It fucking is, I like backing me ponies
Wayne (PS0X2) [326] I've a
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [327] today erm
Michael (PS0X3) [328] Dirty little sod
Wayne (PS0X2) [329] sat here with Marcus and I said oh, I got a, got a flash, and he say I got a flash or something
Michael (PS0X3) [330] Dirty sod
Wayne (PS0X2) [331] it's like, it's either king or knight something, knights or kings something has won a race
Michael (PS0X3) [332] Just what?
Wayne (PS0X2) [333] Just watch, I'll put the Teletext on, out of all the races there was one there King's Fountain, first, it had, it had only just come first and I'd switched it on, I went wow
Michael (PS0X3) [334] King's Fountain?
Wayne (PS0X2) [335] Yeah
Michael (PS0X3) [336] I don't think it were
Wayne (PS0X2) [337] It did
Michael (PS0X3) [338] It didn't
Wayne (PS0X2) [339] It did, I'll show you, don't piss me off mate
Michael (PS0X3) [340] Oh wait a minute I shall see
Wayne (PS0X2) [341] cos I'll have you
Michael (PS0X3) [342] I shall tell you
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Michael (PS0X3) [343] three, three, six, three
Wayne (PS0X2) [344] That's what I want, there it is look King's Fountain
Michael (PS0X3) [345] Oh yeah
Wayne (PS0X2) [346] four, six
Michael (PS0X3) [347] Yeah
Wayne (PS0X2) [348] Weird innit?
Brenda (PS0X4) [349] Have you got a pound coin I can borrow of you dear?
Michael (PS0X3) [350] I owe you a pound, yeah, I can't give it to you dear because I've still got exactly a ten pound note dear and I'm waiting for the pools lady dear
Brenda (PS0X4) [351] Cos I
Michael (PS0X3) [352] Now as soon as she arrives dear I give you
Brenda (PS0X4) [353] I put one in here last night
Michael (PS0X3) [354] your pound dear
Brenda (PS0X4) [355] Oh it's just dropped, did you hear that go?
Michael (PS0X3) [356] No
Wayne (PS0X2) [357] Oh
Michael (PS0X3) [358] Now quick, do you know we're fucking shaking, mm
Brenda (PS0X4) [359] No, it's thirteen hours I want
Wayne (PS0X2) [360] He reckons if he wants any more money when he comes round here tell him
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [361] tell him there's scrap
Michael (PS0X3) [362] I'll tell him
Brenda (PS0X4) [363] Yeah, you know why don't you because that side bits down the back, he probably thinks you've been bloody fiddling with it.
Michael (PS0X3) [364] You can't no way
Wayne (PS0X2) [365] Well he said if he accuses me of fiddling with the telly I'll punch his fucking
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Michael (PS0X3) [366] all you have, all you have to say to him is dad's back at work, he's not been using the telly
Brenda (PS0X4) [367] He's done that
Michael (PS0X3) [368] and that's it
Wayne (PS0X2) [369] I was gonna say kiss my arse motherfucker
Michael (PS0X3) [370] Yes that's it exactly, him as well is there nothing on rehearsals
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Brenda (PS0X4) [371] oh that crap Brinley dinner time oh she's gone to look at
Michael (PS0X3) [372] Oh fucking hell
Brenda (PS0X4) [373] a Metro, I told her if she sees one she likes, get it
Michael (PS0X3) [374] Don't keep telling me I don't want to fucking know
Brenda (PS0X4) [375] Too late , Tom come in and said he see Angie right, up the Wale Road
Michael (PS0X3) [376] It's discreet this
Brenda (PS0X4) [377] I'm telling Wayne ...
Wayne (PS0X2) [378] Well I'm not interested
Michael (PS0X3) [379] Fucking Brinley's a big fucking tart as far as I'm concerned [humming] there are young man are you coming to discover us with young Sam?
Wayne (PS0X2) [380] Get the fuck out of here, how's he gonna get six quid for a ticket?
[381] Exactly for a start
Michael (PS0X3) [382] Sam might pay exactly I pay for it
Wayne (PS0X2) [383] Who wants to go to a poxy fucking disco anyway it's crap
Michael (PS0X3) [384] You always say you like discos
Wayne (PS0X2) [385] Yeah but not with a bunch of old fucking faggots running around
Michael (PS0X3) [386] There won't be old faggots, there's new faggots coming down from Salisbury
Wayne (PS0X2) [387] get in with their walking stick
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Michael (PS0X3) [388] oh no they won't, in that case he'd hold a fucking dinner and dance, he wouldn't hold a disco
Wayne (PS0X2) [389] It'll be full of old faggots and dickheads
Michael (PS0X3) [390] Not from my head office there won't
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [391] [yawning] That's right, the []
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Michael (PS0X3) [392] and big fat girls [laugh]
Wayne (PS0X2) [393] [laugh] There's Tom though, he's with us, hooray
Michael (PS0X3) [394] Lucky bastard
Wayne (PS0X2) [laugh] ...
Michael (PS0X3) [humming]
Wayne (PS0X2) [395] How old are you?
Michael (PS0X3) [396] I shall be forty nine this July
Wayne (PS0X2) [397] I told them all you're forty seven
Michael (PS0X3) [398] Oh thank you very much
Wayne (PS0X2) [399] She said how old's your dad and father then?
Brenda (PS0X4) [400] Are we talking about Poppa?
Wayne (PS0X2) [401] Fuck knows forty eight I think, I don't know, forty eight, forty seven
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [402] behave
Michael (PS0X3) [403] Please, please
Wayne (PS0X2) [404] I've got to go to the loo in a minute anyway ... after I steal one of your cigarettes, notice the word cigarettes instead of the word fags ... oh I don't know, I think I'll go and sell my body, might make a couple of quid and leg it down the
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...] ...
Michael (PS0X3) [humming]
Wayne (PS0X2) [405] I get it
Michael (PS0X3) [406] hockedy pockedy
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Michael (PS0X3) [407] the Rock of Gibraltar
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [408] You ain't been better your missus
Michael (PS0X3) [409] Good evening
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [410] How are you?
Michael (PS0X3) [411] Well if you say yes to my first question, I'll answer you, can I have ten thousand pounds?
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [412] No
Michael (PS0X3) [413] Well that's, that then, alright then

4 (Tape 035204)

Wayne (PS0X2) [414] There's Nigel aah
Martin (PS0X5) [415] Aah Nigel aah, ...
Wayne (PS0X2) [416] Have a race with a Lada today Martin, got seventy five out of this on the motorway
Martin (PS0X5) [417] I told you not to fucking thrash the bollocks out of it
Wayne (PS0X2) [418] Was it thrashing the bollocks out of it?
Martin (PS0X5) [419] Only do fifty Wayne, you fucking blow the bastard engine up, you'll fucking get a sore
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [laugh]
Gary (PS0X6) [420] I would think so
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...] ...
Wayne (PS0X2) [421] no, no
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...] ...
Wayne (PS0X2) [422] look out
Martin (PS0X5) [423] Whey, [laugh]
Wayne (PS0X2) [424] Fucking idiot what you doing?
[425] Oh listen
Martin (PS0X5) [426] You stupid guy
Wayne (PS0X2) [427] let's be good citizens shall we and let everyone through
Martin (PS0X5) [428] Here are, race that fucking whore and get her out the bloody way ...
Wayne (PS0X2) [429] Let's all be very good citizens and kill everyone man, fucking stupid cunt
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...] ...
Wayne (PS0X2) [430] fucking stupid bastard
Martin (PS0X5) [431] Very bastard, very bastard ...
Gary (PS0X6) [432] There you go, don't get struck out
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Sam (PS0X7) [433] drop me down tomorrow right
Wayne (PS0X2) [434] One o'clock out
Sam (PS0X7) [435] No you pick me up
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [436] yeah outside
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Sam (PS0X7) [437] bye now
Wayne (PS0X2) [438] I won't be able to drive this tonight it's got no fucking petrol in it, what a cunt, stressed out
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [439] have you got any more money left?
[440] [laugh] Fucking slap another fiver on the bitch ...
Martin (PS0X5) [441] You'd never slap anyone
Wayne (PS0X2) [442] [laugh] No it's ...
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [443] come on you Lada shit, get out the fucking way
Martin (PS0X5) [444] Yeah what you doing man?
Wayne (PS0X2) [445] Look at this, he's fucking after me look [laugh]
Martin (PS0X5) [laugh]
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [446] do you want me to take you home?
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [447] Please
Wayne (PS0X2) [448] Don't say please just say yes, let's go
Martin (PS0X5) [449] No
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [450] Fucking old man
Wayne (PS0X2) [laugh]
Gary (PS0X6) [451] Fucking kill
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [452] I love it when a plan doesn't work [laugh] [singing] how dry I am, how dry I am, nobody knows how dry I am [] will you get me whisky for me?
[453] [singing] Da, la, dan, dan [] get off and milk it, hooray
Gary (PS0X6) [454] It's not our milkman is it?
Wayne (PS0X2) [455] Fucking hell mate where you going you prick?
[456] Fucking arms off in a minute
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [457] hooray, sorry love, sorry I'm a laugh today, I'm
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [458] in a good mood today
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [459] well I'm not quite sure
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [laugh]
Wayne (PS0X2) [460] Virgil, [shouting] Virgil [] , what are you doing driving a vehicle, I didn't know you could drive, haven't seen me drive motherfucker, get her in here and fuck her shit
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [461] nice white ones, use Persil?
[462] [laugh] Get off and milk it ... hooray go on pop in for a pint, wife won't mind ... go on pop in for a pint, wife won't mind, hooray [laugh]
Martin (PS0X5) [laugh]
Wayne (PS0X2) [463] What's this stupid boy doing ... mummy, mummy as well, oh look at him he's fucking hard, he walks like a hard man,
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [464] Oh he's having a test isn't he?
Wayne (PS0X2) [465] Take him on the outside
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [466] [singing] take him on the outside, take him on the inside, take him on the outside, inside, outside, let him through outside, inside, in [] squeeze them between the lot of them look
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [laugh]
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [467] this lane is faster than your lane, no my lane is faster than yours leg it, what the fuck's going on?
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [468] Queue
Wayne (PS0X2) [469] Queue, queue barny magrew leg it, run, leg it ... [funny noise] I know a short cut, it's a long shot but it might just work
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [470] Don't go over the roundabout that way
Wayne (PS0X2) [471] No I was gonna go through Crin , to the fucking tunnel at Cricket's Way
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [472] You can't the
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [473] blew up
Wayne (PS0X2) [474] So [laugh] got through there, it goes, we slip in them trees, here you are, you can drive through that other open path and out he other side, whey
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [475] It's illegal
Wayne (PS0X2) [476] Who gives a shit?
[477] Hooray, I, what a boy, you can go to King Arthur's from here?
Martin (PS0X5) [478] Fly
Wayne (PS0X2) [479] Let's fly along, wings ... [singing] I'm waiting for sex, oh yeah [] , Stuart looking out they're the banana boy's
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [480] yeah fucking Doris, move you fat bitch
Martin (PS0X5) [481] [laugh] ... Trying to cut you up the arse
Wayne (PS0X2) [482] Trying to cut up a Lada, get over this thing now and
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [483] fuck is your bollocks I'm going on the second lane, hooray
Gary (PS0X6) [484] Hooray, okay go on,
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [485] lovely lovely
Gary (PS0X6) [486] Lovely lovely
Wayne (PS0X2) [laugh]
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [487] Oh I can't
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [laugh]
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [488] to shoot his loaf, I don't think he's brushed up on his cream that he dropped look
Martin (PS0X5) [489] Look at the state of her
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [490] he dropped all his porridge ... [laugh] that was fucking well crafty, ah the indicators are still going ... oh you stupid man, keep going ...
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [491] [singing] hey ho and off we go with a run legged run, run, run, hey ho and off we go la, la, la, la, la [] ninety nine mate please, with a flake and lots of sauce ... revenging boys, revenge of the giant cucumber lotion ...
Gary (PS0X6) [492] Oh everybody out, quick, get out hooray
Wayne (PS0X2) [493] I've had this, I've had this tape on since I've left my house [laugh]
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...] ... [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [494] some of this lot ain't happening
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [laugh]
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Martin (PS0X5) [495] god
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [496] stop here and now, turn round now
Gary (PS0X6) [497] Does he stall it?
Wayne (PS0X2) [498] No he doesn't
Gary (PS0X6) [499] No he doesn't
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [500] See you tomorrow
Wayne (PS0X2) [501] Okay my little sweetness ... bye, bye ... [singing] have I told you lately that I love you, oh yeah [] hurry up cos I've gotta get out of here, I've got to boot it, is there anything behind?
Martin (PS0X5) [502] I don't know squash it
Wayne (PS0X2) [503] I mean is there anything your way over there?
Martin (PS0X5) [504] No ...
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...] ...
Gary (PS0X6) [505] Shut up kid
Wayne (PS0X2) [506] It ain't that loud mate, it's only a fucking seven fifty
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...] ...
Wayne (PS0X2) [507] Wake up mate er, cos you'll have a slippy fan belt for supper ... I suppose you wanna go home now
Martin (PS0X5) [508] No you've got another six years, whey ...
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...] ...
Wayne (PS0X2) [509] Look out
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [laugh]
Wayne (PS0X2) [510] Fucking shit herself
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...] ... [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [511] it's fucking hot in there mate
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [512] er it's probably a load of noisy engine on there
Martin (PS0X5) [laugh]
Wayne (PS0X2) [513] like crunching the gear
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Martin (PS0X5) [514] oh dear
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...] ...
Gary (PS0X6) [515] Ha, great turbo
Wayne (PS0X2) [516] Watch out mind that granny
Gary (PS0X6) [517] Whey, shit
Wayne (PS0X2) [518] [laugh] ... Get over you twat ...
Martin (PS0X5) [519] Stop me with
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Martin (PS0X5) [520] in reverse
Wayne (PS0X2) [521] No, stop it, doing a fucking hundred mile an hour you cunt [laugh]
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Gary (PS0X6) [522] shit man a hundred and twenty
Wayne (PS0X2) [523] Fucking hey must be lunatics it's only a single lane carriageway hurar hurar and it's a one way street, dead end fucking inverted brain leg it of the moon, the sun
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [laugh]
Gary (PS0X6) [524] What's this what
Wayne (PS0X2) [525] This is how the British speak nowadays, during the nineties, it's a load of bullshit, teach us more proper English bitch, was that Tom?
[526] Oh bastard ...
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...] [singing] [...] [] [...] ...
Gary (PS0X6) [527] Shit, get over this side
Wayne (PS0X2) [528] [singing] Groan that gear box, crunch it well []
Martin (PS0X5) [529] [singing] Do it georgdi off the ground [] [laugh]
Wayne (PS0X2) [530] [laugh] [singing] hand brake, skidded down the hill []
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [laugh] [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [531] what did you do that for mate?
[532] Oh a caterpillar ran out the road in front of me
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [533] which one, the bloke or the dog?
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Martin (PS0X5) [534] [laugh] watch it mate I'm gonna have
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [535] they all queue up, they're not gonna let me out though the bastards
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [536] one nil
Gary (PS0X6) [537] [laugh] Seven nil
Wayne (PS0X2) [538] [laugh] Oh god I'm getting them
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [539] wow, what fucking happened there?
Martin (PS0X5) [540] Hit that fucking bollard
Wayne (PS0X2) [541] I was looking at that bloke in the Metro going ... fuck me
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [542] aah
Martin (PS0X5) [543] [laugh] He wasn't impressed
Wayne (PS0X2) [544] Ooh he's turning round hey he's coming, hey
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Martin (PS0X5) [545] he's flying up behind
Wayne (PS0X2) [546] He ain't, he's pissed off, you won't catch me I'll be gone, I mean ee ah ... what you doing I haven't got no petrol to fucking, drive round the town you cunt
Martin (PS0X5) [547] So
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Martin (PS0X5) [548] the old dear's, hooray
Wayne (PS0X2) [549] I wanna watch fucking Neighbours in a minute
Gary (PS0X6) [550] Oh shut up
Martin (PS0X5) [551] Watch Neighbours
Wayne (PS0X2) [552] [singing] Gaybours everybody needs a gaybour [] ... get some money for petrol I'll be round the town later on
Gary (PS0X6) [553] Phone later on ah, Ron, Ron later, later on
Wayne (PS0X2) [554] about elevenish
Gary (PS0X6) [555] Eleven
Martin (PS0X5) [556] Fuck off
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Gary (PS0X6) [557] don't look like he's allowed to see her
Wayne (PS0X2) [558] Ain't she going to work, I'll pick her up from work
Gary (PS0X6) [559] Go on then
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...] ...
Wayne (PS0X2) [560] My god ...
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...] ...
Wayne (PS0X2) [561] Who's that?
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [562] the town'll be chock-a-block ...
Martin (PS0X5) [563] Oh dear
Wayne (PS0X2) [564] Could of made that if I had a Lamborgini ...
Gary (PS0X6) [565] Go ...
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Martin (PS0X5) [566] pulled up my mum last night, she's been going fucking apeshit on me
Wayne (PS0X2) [567] Yeah?
Martin (PS0X5) [568] Yeah so I won't be getting any money off of her ...
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...] ...
Gary (PS0X6) [569] Shortie'll give us some money for petrol, he's thick
Wayne (PS0X2) [570] Ain't got any money
Gary (PS0X6) [571] Never fucking has
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...] ...
Wayne (PS0X2) [laugh]
Unknown speaker (KE5PSUNK) [...]
Wayne (PS0X2) [572] some one stoned it
Martin (PS0X5) [573] They did
Wayne (PS0X2) [574] fucking Ghostbusters look, hooray
Gary (PS0X6) [575] That's the one we went to London ther